011: That's What She Said

While helping my peusdo in-laws clean up the new house and prepare it for painting, The Captain's Dad said

"We are gonna have to really stuff it in that hole"

That's what she said!

Apparently spackling walls lends itself to a whole slew of TWSS jokes. I'm going back today to paint, so I will keep you posted.

YDB

Book Reivew Hiaku: A Twisted Ladder

Book Review Haiku: A Twisted Ladder by Rhodi Hawk

 

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N'awlins, voodoo, French

Had the potential to be great

It fell short in end

 

I wanted to love this book, I really did. It had the potential to be a compelling story: mysterious and ancient relative, voodoo magic, the back Bayou, N'awlins. But Hawk just couldn't deliver. The book was poorly written. Whole sections did not make sense, characters were not clearly developed.

With that being said, I did love the feel of this paperback. The paper used for the cover had a smooth, milky, even smokey feeling. In the design biz we call it Touché.  To me the paper encompassed the climate of the Bayou in the summer; hot and humid. It conveyed the heaviness of the burden the main character was trying to overcome and avoid.

Book Reivew Hiaku: Twenties Girl

Book Review Haiku: Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

 

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Pushy, dead Aunt

Wish I could buy that necklace

Awkwardness abound

This was one of the first of Kinsella's non-Becky Bloomwood stories that I actually enjoyed. She paired well-rounded characters with an equally developed story. I highly recommend this book for a summer beach read.

010: That's What She Said

While watching the Jets/Colts game on Saturday:

"There are a lot of guys stuffed in that hole" - The Captain

That's what she said! Ha Ha. It's almost 24 hours later and I am still laughing at that one.

YDB

Furry Friends Foraging (? No, oh well :) For Forever.....Flat

I love the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee. It's probably the only Blog I visit on a daily basis. I am sucker for cute, little, fuzzy faces. Pair those faces with a sad orphan story and I just melt.  I like to say, "I'm a crazy cat stalker lady." I personally do not have cats in my new home but I come from a home that is run by an adopted brother and sister duo:

 

 This handsome ball of fur is Chase. I would reckon he is 10lbs of pure fur.  He is extremely loving/rapey. He has to be on your lap at all times, and he has to lick the first 4 layers of skin off any exposed skin.

His skills include: human food taster, using doorknobs to open doors, and the ability to function on no sleep (I truly believes he doesn't sleep during the day at all. He is in constant motion. As you can see from this picture, he is WIDE awake and waiting for someone, anyone to walk through the front door.)

 

 And this princess is Charlotte. She is the sweetest little thing on 4 legs. She is the complete opposite of her brother (Notice how calm and relax she looks in her canopy bed.) Charlotte is very in-de-pen-dent, preferring to be left alone (and faaaar away from my 20 month old nephew.) She has the soft fur that she had as a baby. Unlike her brother, she is able to sit on you lap and not feel the need to bath you.

Her skills include: hiding in the most bizarre places, tossing toy mice in the air and then catching them, and hunting bed sheet covered feet.

So back to this committee and what do they do? The Kitties are fostered by two big-hearted Pacific North-westerners Laurie and Craig. "The Itty Bitty Kitties are orphaned kittens that come to us from the Tacoma/Pierce County Humane Society. We care for the babes until they are old enough to be adopted, then we find them loving homes."

There are two boys, Clarence and Georgie, looking for a good forever home in the Seattle/Tacoma area. If you live in the area, please contact the IBKC and inquire about them. I am sure they will be an amazing addition to any home!

http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/Sourc

Good luck Clarence and Georgie! If I lived closer, you would totally be coming home with me.

Your Daily Barista

Happy Festivus!

For the story of Festivus
JeffisaGeek.net provides the video clips.
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It's time for the airing of grievances, I gotta lotta problems with you people!

1) PA UE - Get your shit together and send me my paperwork. Two months of this non-sense is BULLCRAP!

2) In the same vain, Brian Williams - Stop reporting on the shitty job market. Those of us looking for jobs know that the market is the pits. You telling us that just makes us even more depressed and anxious.

3) The Captain - Can you please put your dirty dish(es) in the side of the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes? Your dish is not special and is not entitled to special treatment.

4) Weather at the Beach - Stop being windy. It literally blows.

5) NBC 40 Sound Guy - What is that annoying 'thumping' noise on Monica Ott's mic? Is it her heart beat? Is there a small mammal living in her poorly fitted suit jacket?  Is it a bad mic? I don't know. What I do know is that it is irritating and should be fixed.

6) TruPanel - I have signed up for at least 7 studies and have yet to be chosen! WTF. Why to I keep getting denied? I would be the best test audience. I have an ungodly amount of free time and I love being opinionated. PICK ME!  Also, you should get points for all surveys you complete. Surveys are few and far between anyway so what's the big deal. Might give away too many $5 Starbucks Gift Cards?

7) 'Now Hiring' Signs - Stores, don't put them in your window if you are not actually hiring.

8) Jay Leno - I am forced to watch you every night because I only get Channel 10. Your jokes are unfunny, your guests look uncomfortable, and the group meeting you as you walk out looks forced and pretentious. You suck!

9) Mega Roll Toilet Paper - You do not fit in my TP dispenser, nor do I think you fit in anyone's TP dispenser, making your argument about using less TP invalid. To get the TP to fit, I end up using 1/2 the roll.

And finally,

10) People who drive with their placards hanging from the mirror - It clearly says "Remove While Driving" yet everyone ignores it. I tried driving with Popi's hanging in my window and it is extremely distracting. I could barely see out of half my windshield. Imagine if I had the vision of an 80 year old with cataracts and a bum leg.

So as Festivus draws to a close, it is now my turn to fight my father in a Feat of Strength. I think I can take him!

YDB

3 Faves of the Week

With the holidays right around the corner, I am dedicating my latest 3 Faves of the Week to infomercials.

The Forever Lazy

Two weeks ago, the Captain and I were cruising Newser when we came across a link to this:

"I. WANT. THAT."  the Captain exclaimed like a petulant child.

"That is the dumbest, most unsexy thing I have ever seen. I am not buying you that. In fact, I don't ever want to see you in that," I said flatly

"It's not any dumber than the Snuggie. Which I might add you own!" he pointed out.

That exchange started up the 2010 Which Is Dumber? Debate, which I might add is still going on in my household. I won't go in to the details of the debate, just know that I freely admit that the Snuggie is a dumb product. I also want you to know that my house is a chilly 67 degrees but thanks to my Pepto Bismol Pink Snuggie (an `09 Christmas present from Mom ) my entire body, including my arms, are warm.

The Pajama Jean

A friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall today and I have watched it at least 3 times. It has also spurred the longest conversation ever dedicated to a single FB comment on my page. Every time I watch it, I am left saying "Hmm, I wonder if they are nice looking?" The Pajama Jean (and let us not forget that snazzy and FREE crew neck t-shirt) would be a nice upgrade to my usual yoga pants/college hoodie uniform that have adopted since being unemployed.

This product is utterly ridiculous ...  Right?

This is how they should pitch it during the holiday gift buying rush:

"Now, you can eat all you want and your jeans grow WITH you! No more embarrassingly unbuttoning that top button during fancy, formal dinners. With Pajama Jeans, this Christmas you can have that second helping of Grandmom's apple pie. (narrator chuckles as if in causal conversation) And don't forget the ice cream!"

(I miss working in an Ad Agency...I used to get paid for gems like that!)

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you give PJ's that look like clothes to people who LOVE PJ's, these things will end up in many inappropriate places.

It will class up the Wal-Mart crowd though!

The Clapper Plus

And finally the stupidest addition to an already stupid invention: The Clapper Plus. The 'Plus' of The Clapper Plus is a wireless light switch. 

 

When I brought the stupidity of this product to the attention of the Captain, he said "That's the greatest idea! It would be perfect for us cause none of our light switches are in right place."

Let me explain what he means: the light switch for our bedroom is in the kitchen, the switch for my office is blocked when I open the door, and the only switch in our living room turns on the lights attached to the ceiling fans (which when turned on is bright enough to operate)-not an outlet.

Touché my friend, looks like Santa is bringing us a Clapper Plus!

Better order now, these deals won't last forever and Christmas is just around the corner.

YDB