Happy Festivus!

For the story of Festivus
JeffisaGeek.net provides the video clips.
Source

It's time for the airing of grievances, I gotta lotta problems with you people!

1) PA UE - Get your shit together and send me my paperwork. Two months of this non-sense is BULLCRAP!

2) In the same vain, Brian Williams - Stop reporting on the shitty job market. Those of us looking for jobs know that the market is the pits. You telling us that just makes us even more depressed and anxious.

3) The Captain - Can you please put your dirty dish(es) in the side of the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes? Your dish is not special and is not entitled to special treatment.

4) Weather at the Beach - Stop being windy. It literally blows.

5) NBC 40 Sound Guy - What is that annoying 'thumping' noise on Monica Ott's mic? Is it her heart beat? Is there a small mammal living in her poorly fitted suit jacket?  Is it a bad mic? I don't know. What I do know is that it is irritating and should be fixed.

6) TruPanel - I have signed up for at least 7 studies and have yet to be chosen! WTF. Why to I keep getting denied? I would be the best test audience. I have an ungodly amount of free time and I love being opinionated. PICK ME!  Also, you should get points for all surveys you complete. Surveys are few and far between anyway so what's the big deal. Might give away too many $5 Starbucks Gift Cards?

7) 'Now Hiring' Signs - Stores, don't put them in your window if you are not actually hiring.

8) Jay Leno - I am forced to watch you every night because I only get Channel 10. Your jokes are unfunny, your guests look uncomfortable, and the group meeting you as you walk out looks forced and pretentious. You suck!

9) Mega Roll Toilet Paper - You do not fit in my TP dispenser, nor do I think you fit in anyone's TP dispenser, making your argument about using less TP invalid. To get the TP to fit, I end up using 1/2 the roll.

And finally,

10) People who drive with their placards hanging from the mirror - It clearly says "Remove While Driving" yet everyone ignores it. I tried driving with Popi's hanging in my window and it is extremely distracting. I could barely see out of half my windshield. Imagine if I had the vision of an 80 year old with cataracts and a bum leg.

So as Festivus draws to a close, it is now my turn to fight my father in a Feat of Strength. I think I can take him!

YDB

3 Faves of the Week

With the holidays right around the corner, I am dedicating my latest 3 Faves of the Week to infomercials.

The Forever Lazy

Two weeks ago, the Captain and I were cruising Newser when we came across a link to this:

"I. WANT. THAT."  the Captain exclaimed like a petulant child.

"That is the dumbest, most unsexy thing I have ever seen. I am not buying you that. In fact, I don't ever want to see you in that," I said flatly

"It's not any dumber than the Snuggie. Which I might add you own!" he pointed out.

That exchange started up the 2010 Which Is Dumber? Debate, which I might add is still going on in my household. I won't go in to the details of the debate, just know that I freely admit that the Snuggie is a dumb product. I also want you to know that my house is a chilly 67 degrees but thanks to my Pepto Bismol Pink Snuggie (an `09 Christmas present from Mom ) my entire body, including my arms, are warm.

The Pajama Jean

A friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall today and I have watched it at least 3 times. It has also spurred the longest conversation ever dedicated to a single FB comment on my page. Every time I watch it, I am left saying "Hmm, I wonder if they are nice looking?" The Pajama Jean (and let us not forget that snazzy and FREE crew neck t-shirt) would be a nice upgrade to my usual yoga pants/college hoodie uniform that have adopted since being unemployed.

This product is utterly ridiculous ...  Right?

This is how they should pitch it during the holiday gift buying rush:

"Now, you can eat all you want and your jeans grow WITH you! No more embarrassingly unbuttoning that top button during fancy, formal dinners. With Pajama Jeans, this Christmas you can have that second helping of Grandmom's apple pie. (narrator chuckles as if in causal conversation) And don't forget the ice cream!"

(I miss working in an Ad Agency...I used to get paid for gems like that!)

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you give PJ's that look like clothes to people who LOVE PJ's, these things will end up in many inappropriate places.

It will class up the Wal-Mart crowd though!

The Clapper Plus

And finally the stupidest addition to an already stupid invention: The Clapper Plus. The 'Plus' of The Clapper Plus is a wireless light switch. 

 

When I brought the stupidity of this product to the attention of the Captain, he said "That's the greatest idea! It would be perfect for us cause none of our light switches are in right place."

Let me explain what he means: the light switch for our bedroom is in the kitchen, the switch for my office is blocked when I open the door, and the only switch in our living room turns on the lights attached to the ceiling fans (which when turned on is bright enough to operate)-not an outlet.

Touché my friend, looks like Santa is bringing us a Clapper Plus!

Better order now, these deals won't last forever and Christmas is just around the corner.

YDB

Haven't we met before

I have been a bad, bad friend. I tell you I am going to write to you every week, then I disappear for a few months.

So I suggest we begin again.  But this time at the beginning of my new life.

Well, I was totally laid off in June. I know, I know WTF! It's a strange feeling being laid off. I think I went through all the standard phases:

1. Sweet I Don't Have to Get Up in the Morning
2. I'm Gonna Hang with my Friends. Oh Wait They Have Jobs, Dammit!
3. This Sucks
4. I Need a Job
5. I REALLY Need a job

It was sometime between the "This Sucks" and "I Need a Job" phases that our lease at the 'Creek was up. Due to the numerous issues with the apartment we decided not to resign our lease and move...to the Jersey Shore.

That's right ladies and gents, it's G.T.L. and Fist Pumps all year long. I wish that were the case, but we moved into what can only be equated to a large scale senior community. It's more like Buicks, Placards, and Moth Balls all year long.

We now live in a quaint (not sure if it correctly describes my place, but it sounds classy) 3 bedroom house about a block from the beach.

One of the many beautiful sunsets and it's only a block away! I can seriously hear the ocean on quiet nights.
This summer is going to be amazing.

So here is the nickel tour of our new abode (the interior shots were taken on our first night in the house):

The adorable front porch all decked out for Halloween.
Decorations to take note of: illuminated tin pails, a hay bale and mum, glittery scary words in the windows,
and the cutest homemade ghosts. And our jack-o-lantern...

Lorlita was over and suggested we carve a PBR-o-lantern. Way to class up the neighborhood! Yes, we did keep it out during trick-or-treating. The parents all got a laugh.

The new place isn't very large. Our living room is more long and narrow, so we had to give up part of our sectional and both end tables (that mean kiss away lighting.) Conversely our bedroom is large so we were able to add in the two missing pieces of our bedroom set that we couldn't use in our apartment. 

Win-Win.

 

1) Our ski lodge bathroom.

2) The master bedroom with an extremely romantic 3)washer and dryer.

4) I always wanted a breakfast nook!

5) The kitchen is the largest room in the house. Literally.

6) The living room with beautiful natural wood ceiling (not so attractive fans)

7) My home office. It's the best room in the house and with the best view.

8)The guest bedroom. It's the warmest room in the house.

So that is the new crib in a nutshell. Once I straighten up (things have gotten out of hand with the holidays) I will post some pics of the furnished rooms.

Sorry again for the long delay. I hope never to make it lapse that much again.

Your Daily Barista