I want to go to there

In the immortal words of the Liz Lemon "I want to go to there" with the "there" being the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Unless you have lived under a rock for the past few years, you know that last week was the official launch of the new wizard themed theme park at Universal Studios...in Florida. Not California as I had once believed.

It looks AMAZING! (Bear with me while I nerd out right here) Butterbeer, Every Flavor Beans, Chocolate Frogs, owls, robes, wands (that's what she said? lol), sneakoscopes,  Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, and just about anything else imagined by J.K. Rowling will be featured. I need to go there and I need to buy everything they are selling.

I am Universal's ideal customer. I'm a Harry Potter nerd with cash-in-hand and willing to go into debt just to outfit my nephew in full Gryffindor regalia. I can picture him now in a maroon and gold scarf and a eyeliner lightening bolt scar over his right eye (I must get there prior to Halloween!) Oh he is going to be so cute. See!!

Poorly photoshopped projected image of Lil' Chrissy Potter!

YDB

Book Review Haiku: The Murder of King Tut

 Book Review Haiku: The Murder of King Tut by James Patterson & Martin Dugard (well that is how it looked on the book.)

Source

It's hot in Egypt

Tut is 'my favorite Honky'*

 Wish I saw the show**

*




It was a great read. I never read Patterson based on the knowledge that my Bro likes his books. I don't think I would read any other Patterson's. But I will say I do know why my Bro does read them: it's like writing for dum dums. Seriously. I felt like an Ivy League literature scholar reading this.










** I totally wanted to go but never made it :(  http://www.kingtut.org/home. 

Public Discomfort: It's a bank R-tard.

I went to the bank today to deposit my paycheck (yes, I know what your are thinking, "no direct deposit?!," Tell me about it! But I digress) and there was this dude who took $100 bucks out of the ATM. Now usually it wouldn't phase me that someone took out money, but what I found so fascinating was that he inspected each $20 bill by holding it up to the light to make sure the security strip was visible. WTF. You got the money out of a bank ATM. I am pretty sure they are not stuffing it with counterfeit bills.

Although now that I think about it, it was a TD Bank and they are run by 12 year olds.  My teller tried to cheat me out of a $20! But I called him on it.

So maybe that guy was right for checking his bills. I think those TD Rejects would accept Monopoly money if you tried to give it to them.

On another Public Discomfort rant, check out this chick! I had to run to catch up to her just to try to figure out what that shit is that is tattooed on the back of her legs. And you what? I still don't know what it says. Any thoughts?

YDB

Book Review Haiku: The Second Assistant

Book Review Haiku: The Second Assistant by Mimi Hare & Clare Naylor

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Lara is no Lloyd

Extremely predictable
Too many players

It wasn't a terrible story. I found it very entertaining and it would be an excellent beach read. I can't wait to finish the story with the followup, The First Assistant.

008: That's What She Said

My father discussing his decision to have a Doctor operate verses having a, what he described as, 'robot' do it:

"I just feel better knowing the Doctor's hands are inside me"

That's what she said!

YDB

Book Review Haiku: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Book Review Haiku: The Curious Cast of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Book was far too short

the film was way, WAY too long

Brad Pitt is so cute

Dear God this movie was faaaaaaaaaaar too long. I felt like I was aging just watching it. In fact I remember getting up and cleaning half of the way through. If I started cleaning you know it's bad.

Who got a hundred dollar bill, y'all?

So by now my more astute readers must have noticed all of the Amazon links on my site. Why are you whoring your blog out to Amazon?

Well the answer is simple! I can only afford PBRs (Pabst Blue Ribbon to all you non-rednecks out there) to drink and Amazon will give me money. OK, so it's not that simple. You, my faithful readers, need to do your part, too. Here is how it works:

• I write about something I love or hate
• I offer up my review*, good or bad, and try to make humorous. 
  *I will always be honest with my review. It is up to you if you want to buy it.
• After reading my awesome post, you decide "Fuck yeah, I totally want that product!"
• You then click on the link provided.

The deal is, if you purchase something through a link on my blog, I get an ever so small kickback from Amazon.

So bust out them credit cards and support my alcohol habit and my love of craft beers.

YDB

Oh, by the way, there is a sneaky aspect of these links. I plan on writing about things I want to make it easy for people buying me gifts. That's right. I am that shallow.