Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I am 'Boldly Going' there…Part 1

It used to be a secret, but I cannot hide it anymore. I am ready to admit that I, dear readers, am a Trekkie. I am a TREKKIE!


I am in love with Star Trek the Original Series and all of it campiness. My love started out innocently enough: I was VERY drunk one night and the Captain and I caught an episode on late night TV (oh hell it was early morning, 2am.) I was amazed with what I saw: fabulous cardboard sets, high tech graphics, periods of great acting talent, and not to mention, sigh, William Shatner (I have a little crush on circa 1966-1969 Shatner.)

Now don't let my unhealthy crush on a now 80 year old man confuse you, it's not that the show is actually good. If we are going to be completely honest, it is just terrible. But what I do love about the show is its quaint views on the future.

The photo on the left is from a site Jew of the Day seriously, I couldn't make that up. Photo on the right source.
Who am I kidding I still love him, but in that I'm gonna 'bear hug you like you are my Grandpa' sort of way
.

After watching all 79 episodes multiple times over the past few years this is what Star Trek has taught me about the future:

All enemies in the future will be some kind a of 'energy field': If you watch as much of The Trek as I do you will notice that most enemies in the future will be an "energy field." It may come in the the form of a hand that grabs your vessel, or a a blob of purple, blue, orange, and red glittery light, even appearing as the terrifying Window's Screensaver.  How do you combat your seemingly undefeatable enemy? The future's answer to everything: Logic.




A strategically cut unitard will be the go to outfit for females: And with them Women's Rights will be set back a few 1,000 years.





The computer monitor will revert to a series of colored lights and buttons: For some reason computers will evolve to the point that screens are unnecessary and cumbersome.  All communications will come in the form of lights, blinks, and blips. The streamline look of all the computers makes me think that Steve Job's head is in a jar somewhere running Apple Computer in  the year 2266.  (Wiki)






There is going to be a planet made up of entirely of Nazis and one planet of 1920's Chicago: This is an idea of alien life is also supported by the writers of South Park: in the episode Canceled, the children learn that there are entire planets existing of single races, single species, etc.

And of course as a Space Ship Captain, you must dress the part:




These great photos were taken from the "The Many Looks of Kirk" article on IGN Stars website.
It's a very funny read, if you are so inclined.



Astronauts will not need space suits since all planets will have Earth's atmosphere The one aspect of Star Trek that is so prevalent is the idea that all planets have an atmosphere like Earth. Most of the time they just beam down without checking shit out. I guess the Trekkies will argue that it is just understood that, as high ranking officials of Star Fleet, the research has been done to ensure the crew's safety (well as long as you are not in a red shirt.)

Be on the look out for Part 2 soon!

YDB

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