3 Faves of the Week

With the holidays right around the corner, I am dedicating my latest 3 Faves of the Week to infomercials.

The Forever Lazy

Two weeks ago, the Captain and I were cruising Newser when we came across a link to this:

"I. WANT. THAT."  the Captain exclaimed like a petulant child.

"That is the dumbest, most unsexy thing I have ever seen. I am not buying you that. In fact, I don't ever want to see you in that," I said flatly

"It's not any dumber than the Snuggie. Which I might add you own!" he pointed out.

That exchange started up the 2010 Which Is Dumber? Debate, which I might add is still going on in my household. I won't go in to the details of the debate, just know that I freely admit that the Snuggie is a dumb product. I also want you to know that my house is a chilly 67 degrees but thanks to my Pepto Bismol Pink Snuggie (an `09 Christmas present from Mom ) my entire body, including my arms, are warm.

The Pajama Jean

A friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall today and I have watched it at least 3 times. It has also spurred the longest conversation ever dedicated to a single FB comment on my page. Every time I watch it, I am left saying "Hmm, I wonder if they are nice looking?" The Pajama Jean (and let us not forget that snazzy and FREE crew neck t-shirt) would be a nice upgrade to my usual yoga pants/college hoodie uniform that have adopted since being unemployed.

This product is utterly ridiculous ...  Right?

This is how they should pitch it during the holiday gift buying rush:

"Now, you can eat all you want and your jeans grow WITH you! No more embarrassingly unbuttoning that top button during fancy, formal dinners. With Pajama Jeans, this Christmas you can have that second helping of Grandmom's apple pie. (narrator chuckles as if in causal conversation) And don't forget the ice cream!"

(I miss working in an Ad Agency...I used to get paid for gems like that!)

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you give PJ's that look like clothes to people who LOVE PJ's, these things will end up in many inappropriate places.

It will class up the Wal-Mart crowd though!

The Clapper Plus

And finally the stupidest addition to an already stupid invention: The Clapper Plus. The 'Plus' of The Clapper Plus is a wireless light switch. 

 

When I brought the stupidity of this product to the attention of the Captain, he said "That's the greatest idea! It would be perfect for us cause none of our light switches are in right place."

Let me explain what he means: the light switch for our bedroom is in the kitchen, the switch for my office is blocked when I open the door, and the only switch in our living room turns on the lights attached to the ceiling fans (which when turned on is bright enough to operate)-not an outlet.

Touché my friend, looks like Santa is bringing us a Clapper Plus!

Better order now, these deals won't last forever and Christmas is just around the corner.

YDB

3 Faves of the Week

TV University

 

Stumbling the other day I found the greatest blog post: TV University Faculty by 4 Dudes. That got me thinking, "What would I major in at TV University? A study of all things awesome of course!"

In case you were wondering:

ParaPsycology with Mulder and Scully
Automotive Engineering with Jeremy Clarkson
Astronautical Engineering with Scotty
Marketing with Don Draper
Public Speaking with Billy Mays
Practical Business Management with "Great" Scott
Graphic Arts with Sal Romano
African American History with Franklin (I guess G.O.B. is the Teacher's Assistant)
Women Studies with Hank Moody

Do You Remember the Time?

I happened to be on Facebook a while back and a friend of mine posted a link to a Blog called "I'm Remembering!."

I took one look at this site and fell in love. One the first page there is a screen shot of my favorite 80s movie ever, Just One of the Guys!!  I am crazy for 80s/90s nostalgia and this site has it all.  Scrolling through all the pages makes me long to go through our family photo albums and relive some amazing childhood memories.

Drunk History

Funny or Die has an great episodic series called Drunk History. Concept is simple, tell a factual story while drunk. I know deep down we all have been in this situation. The drunker you get the more you feel a need to impress upon others your wealth of knowledge. The only difference, you don't have celebrities doing the reenactments.  Here is one of my favorites, but you can check out the rest on their site.

Drunk History Vol. 5 w/ Will Ferrell, Don Cheadle & Zooey Deschanel from Will Ferrell

and on a side note: 

My new favorite drink, a hard Arnold Palmer (that's what she said!)

 Hey there sailor!

They are hard to find but funnily enough, the best one I ever head was at Mexican restaurant in South Jersey. According to the all knowing Wikipedia, a hard Arnold Palmer is known as a John Daly. It's easy: lemonade, ice tea, and vodka. I did see on one site that it is best with Limon vodka.

3 Faves of the Week

Bubble Tea! 

I first had bubble tea at a great Thai restaurant in University City called Bubble House about 5 years ago. I loved it there and I'm dying to go back. But until I get there ('soon enough my pet,' I coo at my grumbling tummy) I have found it in Center City at a cute little tea bar called (try to guess)…T-Bar (oh you're a clever hipster doofuses.)

I only get Iced Bubble Milk Black Tea. I am little afraid to taste the other flavors, cause lets face it it's a bit pricey at around $4.75 a glass.  My favorite part of Bubble tea? The slimy black tapioca balls at the bottom of course! As my friend 'Lissa said to me once "Oh so you like slimy, black balls in your mouth?"

Is this a gimmick? I am not entirely sure, but I do know that I love it and will be buying into like a 9 year old buying Silly Bands*.

* On a side note: What the fuck is up with those Silly Bands? They are everywhere. I saw them at the super market, at an office supply store, and boxes of them at the local outdoor flea market.  My intern has one that her mom found in the ocean of all places. Apparently it says Phillies but if you turn it side ways it looks like a seahorse (which I, naturally, thought it was.) I tired it on and let me tell you, it wouldn't fit over my giant country wrist. According to my mother, my 9 y/o cousin has like a million of them and insist on wearing all of them at once. I don't know. I guess it's the Snap Bracelets of 2010.




Nail Polish

I never thought I would say that. But recently I have become obsessed about painting my nails. I have a tendency to put on a color, take it off, then reapply another color in the matter of a half hour. The Captain doesn't get it and keeps complaining about the smell. I told him it's what comes with living with a woman: nail polish and Sex and the City.

I have found that the cheap nail polishes like Funky Fingers and N.Y.C. work the best. The go on easy and usually in 1 or 2 coats. But I went through all of this in a previous product review called Polish Me… Indifferent.

Futurama!

Source

In Bender Bending Rodriguez's own words "I'm Back Baby!" and I am totally stoked. Seriously Futurama is back for a whole new season starting on June 24th. It's going to be amazing. For those of you who never gave this show a chance, I highly recommend that you do. It is the perfect spoof of old Sci-Fi shows specifically, my personal favorite, Star Trek: the Original Series. I'll admit the last of the 3 "made-for-TV-movie" style episodes, left much to be desired, but at the time, it was better than nothing. 

But now it's back and I can forget the terribleness of Into the Wild Green Yonder.

Futurama is smartly written, well voiced, and all the characters sort of look like the Simpsons.  How could you go wrong?

Never seen the show, but want to get caught up quickly? Check out this recap, narrated by my favorite cartoon character (as well as the namesake of my future dog!) Captain Zapp Brannigan!

Futurama	Weeknights, 9p/8c
Recap-O-Rama: 5 Seasons in 7 Minutes
www.comedycentral.com
Futurama New Episodes Futurama New Episodes Ugly Americans

So now you must be like: "Holy hell, I can't believe I ignored this show! I totally need to watch some episodes before June 24th!!" Here is where to start my friends. I give you my top 5 Futurama episodes (in no particular order):

Where No Fan Has Gone Before
Entire episode based on Star Trek: the Original Series. My favorite quote from the episode "Double Yes!

Bending in the Wind
Bender becomes broken and tours with Beck.

Love Labour's Lost in Space
the one where "Zapp mated with a woman"

Amazon Women in the Mood
OK this is the greatest episode of the entire series!!!! This is a must watch.

Spanish Fry
Fry's "human horn" gets stolen and it opens the door to a slue of sexual innuendos by Bender.

On a side note: Jurassic Bark always makes me cry. Poor Seymour. Keep on waiting buddy!

YDB

3 Faves of the Week

My Three Faves of the Week: YouTube Edition!


1) We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

I stumbled on this video a few weeks ago, and I am still singing. I find it strangely hypnotizing, and it's not just the "Gooble Gobble" chant from Freaks.

 

Let me know some of your favorite lines from Pop Culture depicted in this video? My favorite surprise, Grover as the waiter (and the always great "I want to go to there")!

 
2) The opening credits to Watchmen

I have yet to see this film, but a friend of mine brought the opening credits to my attention. I am sure most of you have already seen the clip, but it's just too well executed that I must share it here. To me it is a perfect example of how film credits should be treated! If filmmakers are going to run them separate from the film, then they should be used to draw the viewers attention into the film, get them curious and excited about what they are about to experience.

From the cinematography to the historical references to the excellent use of Bob Dylan's Times They Are a Changin' (one of my favorite Dylan song), these credits actually have me excited to see what the movie is all about (regardless of how bad people tell me it is.)

Unfortunately the embedding has been disabled, but you can view it at the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrVZV__w500

 

3) 70 Million by Hold Your Horses

Maybe I am just a nerdy art student, but I love everything about this video! Can you name all of the painting use?

A little aside: 70 Million reminds me of those fabulous Kindle commercials:



and

And now for the shameless product placement!

Wanna by be freaked out by Browning's classic Freaks!  You can pick it up on Amazon (along with any other movie/TV show you saw in "We Came We Saw...")












 Do one step better than me and watch Watchmen, then you can tell me what you think (or I could just bum it off of you. I'll return it. Promise!)












 Don't you just love 70 Million by Hold your Horses? Buy the download from Amazon so you can rock out to it on your iPod!













YDB

3 Faves of the Week

The rain is over, the sun shining, the weather warmer, and here are some things that are making me smile this week!

America's Next Top Model is back!!

What used to be a guilty pleasure has pushed it's way out into my public life. I love ANTM! I seriously love this show. I love everything; the wacky challenges, the girls who think modeling is on par with feeding the hungry, and of course Tyra. Yes! I said Tyra. She is just....no words, no words. As long as you understand that it is the All Tyra, All the Time Show, it becomes tolerable.

The best part: watching the show and trying to figure out what scenes The Soup will be tearing into on their next episode.

Cycle 14 is going to be great. Girls getting hit off runways with pendulums, the zany Editor-at-Large of Vogue is a new judge, this chick:

Is it me or does she look like a man in drag?

Angelea. The uber bitchy chick from last season who was sent packing in the first episode. Well she is back and with a vengeance. She is going to be all up in everyone face this season. OH! this chick (she's the 'character' who thinks she knows everything) grew up in a cult. She looks like a cultist:



Last but certainly not least, cutie Nigel. He is just so lovely to look at (drool over same difference.)

NIIIIICE. The photo came from Epoch Times.

WTF. Why does Mr. Jay have silver hair?




Oh and for someone who was proud to be a tubby,






she sure did slim down!



So sit back and take it for what it is...one big, extra hot (and sometimes sticky) mess.



Roy Lichtenstein Style Makeup

Check this out! I think I found my Halloween costume for next year. So who's having a party?


See additional photos at The Trendy Girl!!



And finally Mad Men Barbies

Mattel released a series of Mad Men Barbies. It's too bad that they aren't packaging them with tiny Hi-Ball glasses and cigarettes. Here is a great article from the New York Times about this new collector series.


I wonder if the Sally Draper doll comes with a dry cleaning bag to play with?

Oh and on another Mad Men note: I think I am buying a Joan Holloway style Pen Necklace. Think about it, it's a genius idea. I am always losing my pen through out the day so why not just incorporate it into my daily accessories.

Want one too (or if you want to buy me one) the Joan Halloway Pen Necklace is available on Amazon!

YDB

3 Faves of the Week ≠ SNOW!

This post is very past due! But enjoy...

--

Instead of writing about my 3 Faves of the week, I think I want to write about the one thing I am starting to loathe...SNOW!

About three weeks ago, it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. So we made the best of it and got snowed in with plenty of beer, food, and friends. We partook in snowball fights, helped each other dig out, and built a pretty bad ass igloo (Well until I saw Intern Steve's igloo, that bastard.)

Friday night Lorlita showed up with all this stuff (OK some of that stuff is mine, but still!)



Totally prepared for TACO Night! Awesome. It was A Great Value!



There was more beer on the deck, wine on the table, and vodka in the freezer. Sorry for the crumbs in the fridge =(

So after the 2nd storm passed, we woke up to this! Bubbles is the car between the two men.

It turned into an igloo building contest with the neighbors.
Duke and his drunk friends vs. Lorlita and I.

Our neighbor apparently needed a hat.

Our other neighbor with her 2 adorable Corgis. One is missing and eye and is a little slow. But so darn cute.

A good shot of our progress and architectural plan. Note the nice horseshoe shape we got going on. Oh and the convenient beer holder to the left. It was so cold that the beer started to ice over.

We decided to turn it into a bar and lounge. Unfortunately we couldn't get roof on it.

Damn you Intern Steve. Damn you and wicked igloo building skills. You must be part Eskimo.

Three weeks go by and one massive rain storm but it's still here.

It's melting but it is still everywhere! Seriously. In the past month the Philadelphia region has been hit with like 30+ inches (I think the final snow count for the region was 70"). The Winter Olympics are taking place at probably the most kick ass part of Canada (Vancouver/Whistler) and they have no snow for the snowboarders. They should move that skiing shit to Woodbury, NJ. We don't have natural mountains (nor do we even have hills) but we do have ginormous mounds of snow sitting in Walmart parking lots.

So, now, as I sit here digesting a slice of my first homemade lasagna, watching the snow fall for a 4th time this winter season, the only thing left to do is open a bottle of wine and watch the accumulation.

MMMMM MMMMM can't get enough. It goes without saying that this was AMAAAAAAZING.

*NOTE: The pending snow storm that I am referring to in that last paragraph was a fallacy. We barely got 5". But I did get a 4 day weekend out of it so thank you John Bolaris and your misguided snow prediction.

----

Fast forward one month. It was fucking amazing out this weekend. The Captain and I took total advantage and ran errands; spending most of the day outside. In fact it was so nice it was Skinny Coffee Frappacino nice. Today, Monday, it's about 57ºF and perfect. So perfect I left the Creek without a jacket and I may roll with the roof down!

See. If you put your hand on the monitor you can feel the warmth!

So everyone turn off the computer, and go forth to enjoy the Spring like weather. But don't enjoy it too much cause it's gonna rain before the end of the week. And right in time for the St. Paddy's Day Parade. I wouldn't normally care, however, my company marches in it every year; so if it rain it's gonna suck even more.

YDB

Just in case you didn't believe me =)

Do you want to make a sweet Snow Igloo like Lorlita and I? Then get a Flexible Snow block from Amazon and pray for snow!

3 Faves of the Week

I need to get back on my normal schedule again. Need to start with my weekly updates. I would make it a late New Years resolution but we all know how well they go! You start up strong and enthusiastic, but after a week or two you gain the ' oh, fuck it' attitude and fail miserably.

So my first 3 Faves of 2010!

Going to the movies ... Alone!

I know what you are thinking 'but YDB, that is what losers do! Don't tell me you are a loser.' Yes I am a loser and I am so proud (I am a also a Trekkie but that is for anther post) to be a loser. I never used to go to the movies alone. I didn't want to be labeled "that guy/girl."

The first movie I saw alone was The Fellowship of the Ring (OK so I'm loser), and I was hooked from the start. Just think about it for a second, you can go whenever you want, to whatever theater you want, see whatever piece of crap that you want and not have to deal with others in your group complaining. Once I entered the Shire alone I have never looked back. Just about every movie I have seen in the theater has been on my own.

I personally feel that Coffee Works coffee is terrible. But do get their Fiji hot tea. So warm and naturally sweet.

At work last Friday, I thought "Well, the Captain is working and Lorlita has a date. So do I go home and clean or take myself out on a lovely date?" It was an easy choice. Dinner and a movie! Cleaning is so overrated. So I stopped at Coffee Works for a quick bite:

That was the best God dang Veggie Chili I have ever eaten!

and then headed over to the The Ritz Sixteen. May I take a little aside here and say, The Ritz has completely gone downhill since they let young kids in there. They used to have a strict 16 y/o and over rule after a certain time. It was so pleasant not having to deal with whiny and screaming middle/high schoolers. Anyway...

Before you ask, I saw the the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (you can see the trailer here.) It was insanely amazing! Everything from the story, to the visuals, to the superb cast. I would so highly recommend seeing this movie. It will definitely keep you entertained.

On a side note: Christopher Plummer was amazing! I didn't even know he was still alive. Tom Waits plays the Devil. Perfect casting.


Hating Mystery Science Theater 3000

I love hating this show. It's terrible and not in that Star Trek "it's so terrible it's awesome" way. No this show sucks balls. And before my readers start defending it, I would like to say that I have given it a chance on multiple occasions. The Captain has a few seasons on DVD, trust me I have given this turd sandwich of a show more than enough chances to prove itself funny. It's just not. They watch bad movies and make funny(?) comments, however, the comments are not funny. At all. I get more laughs out of the Captain when I make my own jokes about the crappiness of the show.

The only thing funny in this image is the cat wearing, what appears to be, a wedding dress. I'm sure the puppets and that unfunny stoner are making some lame jokes
about it.

I'm with Coco

Unless you have been under a rock for the past week you know about this whole brew-haha going on over at the hot mess that is NBC concerning the Tonight Show and that crapfest that is the Jay Leno Show.

Unaware of the situation, here it is in short:

ABC.com
NBC's late-night comedy line-up first took a dramatic turn earlier this month when, amid flagging ratings for "The Tonight Show" and Leno's 10 p.m. "The Jay Leno Show," NBC announced that it wanted to move Leno's program to 11:35 and push O'Brien's show back to 12:05 a.m.

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/conan-obrien-nbc-agreement-expected-fans-plan-protests/story?id=9593133

NYPost
Peacock executives have been fighting a losing, two-front war since giving O'Brien the "Tonight" job. Not only has Leno's 10 p.m. show been weak, but CBS's "Late Show with David Letterman" has consistently been beating O'Brien.

In the 10 p.m. slot, NBC had nothing in development worth investing the millions it would take to rush to the air. So it created a 10 p.m. show for Leno, without spending much money.

But "The Jay Leno Show" -- while profitable -- didn't attract enough viewers to satisfy NBC affiliates left holding the bag with an ineffective lead-in to their 11 p.m. newscasts.

The news shows are usually the biggest moneymakers for local stations, and Gaspin said those affiliates demanded more traditional programs be put back in place.

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/just_call_him_conan_flyin_ThND8Mdv5MI5Pv8udof1LJ

Conan said it best:

People of Earth:
In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over "The Tonight Show" in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my "Tonight Show" in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the "Tonight Show" to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the "Tonight Show" has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the "Tonight Show" into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. "The Tonight Show" at 12:05 simply isn't the "Tonight Show." Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the "Late Night" show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of "The Tonight Show." But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the "Tonight Show," I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.
Yours,
Conan
Check out I'm With Coco! and join the fight.

Everyone chant with me:
Coco Forever, Leno Never! Coco Forever, Leno Never! Coco Forever, Leno Never! Coco Forever, Leno Never! Coco Forever, Leno Never!

Christmastime is Here....

...and boy do I love me some Christmastime.

For the month of December I will be dedicating my 3 Faves to all that is Christmas. And don't worry kiddies...they are already mapped out and will be uploaded in a timely manner. None of those late posts that haunted my November.

This year B101 started playing their Merry Tunes the week before Thanksgiving. That is just too insane. I don't even want to think about Christmas music until after I have gorged myself on all things Thanksgiving.

This was a hard decision to make, being that there are so many awesome Christmas tunes out there.

Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosby and David Bowie



I wish that when I sit around in my Mr. Rodgers sweater David Bowie would come knocking on my door. Could you imagine? That would be totally bad ass.

"Sure David, we have a piano you can play just push the cat off of it first. You don't mind that it is out of tune and a few keys don't work. "... "No you can't leave."

I wonder if Crosby beat Bowie with a bag of Valencia oranges afterwords.....

Home for the Holidays - Perry Como



This song reminds me of Popi. He loves this song. You can always here him singing it while he is getting dressed in the mornings. It's pretty funny. He only knows the chorus.



Marshmallow World - Dean Martin



I just discovered this song last year and I must say...I absolutely love it. I loved it so much that I made this catchy little tune my ringtone! But what makes the song? It's Deano's drunk swagger throughout the entire piece. You just know that he was loaded while recording it and you know he didn't care!

Last Christmas - WHAM!

I don't even have to think twice about this one! Last Christmas is Fabulous with a capital "F." And now that I discovered there is a music video, oh God, it's even more amazing.



If you want to hear a pretty good and a some what more manly remake check, out Jimmy Eat World's Last Christmas. Now, I am not too sure what is going on in this video but I was strangely hypnotized. It's obliviously a high school project, "the girl who got away, but boo-hoo I want her back" is a common theme in high school video class projects. I should know, I was one of those aspiring filmmakers.



I would like to know your thoughts on this video. If I were his teacher, B-. First, great song choice, nice choice in clothing....Wii jacket. But Transformers....you are not winning any chicks back with that piece of crap. Next time bring some Love, Actually. Chicks love that movie plus it's all Christmasy.

My....5 Faves of the Week

I am a little behind in posting my favorite things. "A little" is a bit of an understatement. So let's start anew:

1. paleisthenewtan.com

It's the new People of Wal-Mart. I will admit some of them look (and probably are) very Photoshopped, but I don't care. You know what baffles me the most, it's not that these douchebags look like happy carrots, it's that ladies look as though they think these happy carrots are hot. How do you look at them and think "OMG, I totally wanna hook-up with him." I mean they look f-ing ridiculous. Then again, look at the chicks hanging all over them, they don't look to bright.



2. Mad Men

Mad Men is AMAZING! Everyone should be watching this show. This season's finale was incredible. It's funny, as a woman I should totally be on Team Betty, however, I can't help but have a soft spot in my heart for Don. Betty was such a bitch in the past few episodes. I mean, so he's slept with every woman he meets, he really does love Betty. Oh and the whole company situation got me totally pumped! Watching them take the reigns of their company and give the Brits the figurative finger, got me all pumped. Sigh, if only I could do that....

Contains Spoilers:


3. Google Doodles

I always get super excited when I log into Firefox and notice Google is using new Doodles. In honor of Sesame Street's 40th Anniversary, the Doodle Masters (I don't know if that is what they are called) came up with a great line of Monster themed Doodles:










To see more Google Doodles, check out this website.

By the way, for all of my readers in their late 20s, early 30s, do you know that Gordon is still alive and living on Sesame Street. I mean he looked old when I was a kid.




4. Andre Agassi wore a hair weave!

Andre Agassi has been all over the news the past few weeks. Apparently he wrote a tell all, Open: An Autobiography, in which he discloses many aspects of his life. His crappy marriage to Brooke Shields, the fact that he hated tennis is whole young life and career. But it's the revelation that he wore a hair weave that I find to be the most exciting. I mean meth addiction, smeth addition. I can turn on Intervention
any day of the week and see a meth addict. I mean, this is a weave!! It all makes sense, I always thought that it looked so ratty. He probably wore the sweatband just to keep it on. I may have to read his book to see if there are more weave stories.




5. Mario Kart Wii

I was very peeved that the Captain bought this game when we have groceries to buy and rent to pay. The first weekend we had it, the Capt. deepened his already cavernous butt template in the sofa. He would have played it non stop if I hadn't forced him out of the house to visit Grandmom Pocono.

Well, I must admit, I am totally hooked. Even though I am completely terrible at this game, I still love playing online with the nerds. I have yet to break 5th place. My favorite online player "The Cat Burglar." This "Burglar" is even worse that I am. Plus the Captain and I think "the Burglar" should change his name to the "Pussy Snatcher." I mean come on! It means the same thing, and yet so much more.

The best character to play as - King Boo.

Reason 1: I say in a terrible Forrest Gump accent "But King Boo you ain't got no legs." I mean how does a ghost drive a car?

Reason 2: When you pick him he does this sweet thing with his tongue. Which I must mimic whenever I chose him:

3 Faves of the Week

10/26/09

Little Biff dressed as a dinosaur

Goddamn that kid is cute. I am so glad he's in my family.

Not sure why Popi named him Biff (after Biff in Death of a Salesman,) but it sure does make me laugh.

If only Lil Biff was walking I could've played this song as he walked house-to-house.

Daylight Savings

Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise ~ B. Franklin

Many moons ago, native Philadelphian, author, all around inventing bad ass Ben Franklin, had one of those "ahead of his time ideas" (Just like me. My Slanket: A Blanket with Sleeves idea preceded the Snuggie by mere weeks) came up with a satire about the French government taxing shutter use forcing the Frenchies get up earlier. You know to cash in on some sunshine.

Well I guess the our forefathers gave a big F-U to the idea and it was put off until the age of rails and communications. Something like the rail systems needed to be uniform for travel purposes.

I don't get it.

I mean regardless of the time, you can still travel. People cross time zones all the time and yet they continue to live. Why couldn't people travel by rail through different zones with out the extra hour (or lack of an extra hour.)? ~ Please comment below if you know the answer to that question. ~

So those folk rock loving New Zealanders proposed Modern DST (Daylight Savings Time) in order to have more time to fantasized about all the lovely ladies in the world. But then a Londoner came along and said "Whoa there New Zealand, you totally Bogarted our DST idea you A-holes." So the Brits took ownership of the idea because they claimed that too many people were sleeping through the larger part of a summer day.*

So thank you to New Zealanders (BTW, is the term "Kiwi" offensive? I've never met anyone from New Zealand so I haven't had anyone to ask.), not only have you given me the opportunity to sleep an extra hour on Sunday but you will inevitably force me to be super early to work on Monday because I'll have forgotten to turn my clock back in the car.

Oh, and when it comes to that Spring Forward bullshit - F.U.!

*Some facts came from (the always reliable) WikiPedia the rest I made up.

SModcast

Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier get high and talk about (VERY) random things. I had downloaded some episodes a while ago but really wasn't digging them. Having nothing to listen too at work this week and my iPod battery dead, I decided to give them a chance. Well my friends, I am happy to say that this is my new favorite podcast so check it out. It's not entirely safe for work, so beware.

YDB

My 3 Faves of the Week

week of 10/19/09

Chunky Monkey Milkshake at Nifty Fifties

Every night that Popi is over he insists that I take him out for ice cream. I hate to admit it but usually don't take him. Not because I don't want to spend the time with him, it's just that I have just come home from work (7:30pm) and the last thing I feel like doing is going back out. But last Friday I relented and took him for ice cream. Unsure of what to get I ended up ordering a Chunky Monkey Milkshake. Oh mother of God that was the greatest milkshake I have ever drank/ate. It was banana, vanilla, chocolate, peanut buttery goodness topped of with tiny chocolate chips and shards of peanuts. It was so good I immediately texted 4 of my friends to tell them of its awesomeness. Go get one! Now! Run!

This weirdly non-Confucius Fortune

Probably about 3 years ago the Captain I ordered Chinese food at his apartment. So along with the 10,000 packages of duck sauce they give you, we threw the extra fortune cookie in the crisper in the fridge. Fast forward to present day, and your Daily Barista is awake and starving. Naturally there is no food in the Capt.'s abode, so I went on a scavenger hunt and that is when I found the lost cookie. After close inspection to make sure the package was still sealed, I opened it took out the little strip of paper and ate the cookie. The Neapolitan cookie (not sure when the Neapolitan craze hit the fortune cookie industry but I am so glad it did) was a tiny bit stale, but over all still tasted OK. As I digested the aging cookie, I took time to read my fortune. Then reread it to make sure I read it right the first time:

Matt Lauer

I have an unnatural crush on Matt Lauer. Why, I am not entirely sure. Let's face it, as Popi would say "He's no Brad Pitt" and rumor has it, he's a bit of a tool.

I don't care, I love (LOVE) Matt Lauer. One of my goals in life is to meet this man. I know what you are thinking, "Why don't you just stand outside the studio like a turista with a lame ass sign and you can meet him that way?" No way. I want to go on the show. Every idea I come up with starts with one question: will this get me on the Today Show? Secretly I think that is why I started this blog.

So why do I love you Lauer? Is it your snappy suits, is it your snarky attitude and dry sense of humor? Is it your germ-a-phob-ness? Or your obvious disgust when interviewing idiots (Deep down I know you wanted to punch that Illinois cop Drew Peterson right in the face. I know that you think he did it.) I love that watching you allows me to start statements with "Well, Matt told me today....." when discussing the news with my co-workers.

Thank you Mr. Lauer for delivering my news everyday and for brightening my early mornings. You're the best. I don't care that you can be a tool. Sometime one has to be a tool. And please consider my home or office as one of the Where in the World is Matt Lauer? locales. That would be bad ass.

Oh, and to Meredith, Al, and Ann? I love you all too. Ann you are so cute with your belted sweaters. Al with your inappropriate jokes that make me cringe (at times you are on par with Willard Scott.) And Meredith. You look like my mom (seriously, I find it freaky) and it makes me smile.

Click on the photos above to find their sources.