Book Reivew Hiaku: Bossypants

Book Review Haiku: Bossypants by Tina Fey

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Why is it so great

I can't seem to figure it out

I love Liz Lemon

Don't get me wrong, Bossypants was a good book. I really enjoyed it. The honeymoon cruise story was hilarious. What I can't seem to pinpoint is-what about this book put it on almost everyone's Book of 2011 lists? If someone out there has read this book and can answer my question, please do. 

They Spouted...About ME!

One of the best features in my local newspaper, The Cape May County Herald, is the Spout Off. The Spout Off gives a platform for crotchety old people, allowing them to voice their distaste for the community behind the mask of anonymity. 

Arguably, it is THE BEST feature in the entire paper. Well, next to The Grid.

Let me just digress for a moment. The Grid is glorious. It is the go to guide for Cape May County. During the height of the summer, it is a two page spread listing each bar and its nightly entertainment. I always say the saddest day of the year is when The Grid down grades to a quarter page in the off season.

But back to the Spout Off. To get an idea of what the Spout Off is, here are few of last week's complaints:

North Wildwood - Many of us locals are resentful of the Shoobies who are trying to take over over town. That is why many of us proudly display Dallas Cowboys or Pittsburgh Steelers decals on the back windows of our pickup trucks. I would rather support a team from anywhere other than Philly.

What this Spouter seems to forget, that without the Shoobies (Shoobie = a tourist) their City would be nothing. The Wildwoods were built by these Shoobies. Get over it.

Court House - Hey Dennis Township, enough with the ATV spouts already. Every week it's the same thing. Can't you start a new topic?

Those crazy Dennis Township people really hate ATVs! One week someone actually complained that the noise was damaging her newborn's ears. While the baby was sleeping. Inside the house. Away from the ATVs.

Wildwood - Mayor Troiano wants to fight property assessments that were lower and Commissioner Bryon wants to do a city wide reassessment which will lower all property assessments. Do they talk to each other?

Let's set the record straight. Mayor Troiano was thrown out of office then re-elected the following election. They have no right to complain. 

So imagine my chagrin when The Captain read this aloud:

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Holy crap, that is about me! ME! Someone is spouting about me. How could that be? I am a good neighbor. I am thoughtful when shopping in my local stores. I always put my groceries back in their proper place! I always hold the door open for these crotchety old people when entering and exiting Wawa. How could this be about me?

BINGO! Literally, it's about the time I played Bingo with my friends M and S.  

After our plans to play "cranes" at Gateway 26 fell through (I didn't get the memo that it would only be open on weekends) and with nothing else open, we decided to hit the local fire hall for its weekly Bingo Night.

It was in Game 3 that things got nasty and the true color of my neighbors came to the surface. All of a sudden M yelled Bingo! We were ecstatic-laughing and cheering. During our little celebration, the elderly woman in a visor/fanny pack combo turns to us and says "YEAH! Well I gots Bingo too hunny!"  

We didn't know how to response to that remark. The three of us looked at each other with that "WTF lady" look, went about our celebration, and collected our fifty-dollar pay out!

'Twenty dolla bills, ya'll!'

We didn't realize, until we saw the Spout above (a month later), that she meant she had Bingo on that hand. That's too bad. Guess she should have focused her energy on getting the attention of the organizers rather than pushing her negative vibes on to us. 

Villas - To the anonymous Bingo Spouter back in November: See you next week! GAME. ON. Bitches! 

Your Daily Barista

2011 GoodReads Book Challenge

Well I have decided to make a concentrated effort to blog again. Really for no other reason than to give me something to do.

Allow me to fill you in in what has been going on over the past year...um...let's see... yeah I got nothing. Since I am still out of (full-time or for that matter steady part time) work, life has become a cycle of bad daytime TV and pajamas changes.  Not to mention, Words with Friends battles with who ever challenges me (threepmcoffee)

With that being said, let us jump back in. Right into the deep end. Without even testing the water.

I am member of the social networking site for book nerds, Goodreads.com.  Goodreads wants you to challenge yourself to read as many books as you can in 365 days. Last year I had challenged myself to read 20 books. I was pumped for it too. All of the elements aligned: I was out of work, I lived by the beach, and I was given a Nook for my 30th birthday.

Here is a run down of what I read:

I know what you are thinking "wow that is an eclectic group you got there!" And you are right. I like all types of stories, genres, and writers. Not all of my choices were home runs (*cough* Interpretation of a Murder *cough, cough* A Desirable Residence) but there were a few that I really loved.

Columbine by Dave Cullen was heart-wrenchingly detailed.  I learned that a former drug addict and high school drop out Duff McKagan is an amazing writer (It's So Easy...) The Help was the story I didn't want to end. And Tucker Maxx makes me happy that I am not single (I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. I wasn't crazy about his follow up Assholes Finish First.) 

The last two book pictured above are cropped for a reason. The first is The Count of Monte Cristo. I made the mistake of asking The Captain what classic novel he would recommend. That book was crap. I got as far as the Count meeting the children of the guys that put him jail (which I didn't realize were their kids.) To borrow a line from my favorite stage play Amadeus, "Too many notes." Seriously.  I mean it was ridiculous. 

With my deadline looming and being stuck on this piece of crap for weeks, I decided to bail and start The Night Circus. I was so happy I did. I LOVED that story. It was so visually stunning. I would love to see it on the big screen but lets be honest Hollywood would just destroy it. Baz Luhrmann would come in and make it a shitty Moulin Rouge-esque musical. BLAH.

Sadly, I did not finish it before my deadline. In the end I only read eighteen books. Technically, eighteen and three quarters.

How many books did you read in 2011? Have any recommendations for my 2012 challenge?

YDB

P.S. - I have challenged myself to read 25 (eek!!) books in 2012. Tina Fey's Bossypants is the first one to the plate.

Thrift Shopping, Craft Making

A few weeks ago one of my favorite Bloggers, Claire, at blah to TADA spent a week making extremely cute cake stands out of miscellaneous pieces of china (that's her niche: making great things through the art of creative recycling.) I took one look at this cute cake stand and thought: 1) I could totally make that and 2) I can show it off at Easter Dinner (I was a first time hostess this year.) So off to the thrift shop I went.

 See how could I NOT make this! For full instructions visit her site!

It took me two trips to five different shops to find all the proper items to make my cake stand. I know what you are saying how hard it is to find 3 different dishes and some candlestick holders? Well it's friggin hard. Finding a separate salad size dish was near impossible. In order to acquire such a dish, I had to buy it in a set for five bucks!! Seriously, five dollars at a thrift shop is a bit much.

So here is my best attempt at my first Blah to Tada craft!

 

First I gathered all my supplies: Mr. Clean to wash the dishes and remove any magic marker pricing; ruler; pencil (which turned out to be a mistake and so I upgraded to a Sharpie); and of course glue.

Take Claire's advice and use Super Glue. I made the mistake of using Gorilla Glue, which (again) I forgot, does not dry clear.

  

Here were my final plate choices. It took forever to pick out nice plates that did not have a overwhelming pattern. The center plate (with the green trim) was my least favorite, as I wanted all the plates to have a sliver or gold trim. But in the end I really loved how the bolder, green border offset the more delicate patterns of the other two plates.

 

After making my measurements, I glued that shit together, using some of my summer reading books as weights. I should also mention that I used some fabulous cut glass candle stick holders as my pedestals. These were also hard to find pieces. Some where too tall, too narrow at the top, too wide at the base. It was very frustrating.

 

TADA! My final piece. It looks pretty sweet and I am in total love!  I just have to use some creative decorating to hide the icky, brownish glue holding it together.

 

While I was trolling the shops, looking for the right pieces for my cake stand, I found some sweet finds that I just had to share:

 

Al Bundy's couch!! YES! And to make it more desirable, there was plastic on it. 

Naturally, I didn't buy it but it was so hard to walk away

 

 O.J.'s Legal Pad. My question was who would buy this in the first place?

Thrift shops, where outdated program guides go to die.

 

Now I must say I totally squealed when I saw a Fiestaware box. My mom collects Fiestaware like a crazy person collects cats. But I was fooled by the Thrift Gods, it was simply an empty box. 

 

Who would read a book by Jimmy Buffet? He can't write a song, what makes you think he can write a novel? I tell you one group of people who wouldn't read it, Graphic Designers! There were typeface violations all over it. The culprit: COMIC SANS.

Have you made any fabulous crafts out of other people's unwanted treasures? Have a great Thrift Shop/Yard Sale find you just need to share? Let us know.

YDB

012: That's What She Said

As the plumber talks to my landlord about the piping under the house:

"Well the rubbers go bad sometimes..."

And when they do, you're gonna have a bad time! That's what HE said.

Have you heard any good "That's What She Said Jokes" recently? If so, share.

YDB

I am 'Boldly Going' there…Part 1

It used to be a secret, but I cannot hide it anymore. I am ready to admit that I, dear readers, am a Trekkie. I am a TREKKIE!

 

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I am in love with Star Trek the Original Series and all of it campiness. My love started out innocently enough: I was VERY drunk one night and the Captain and I caught an episode on late night TV (oh hell it was early morning, 2am.) I was amazed with what I saw: fabulous cardboard sets, high tech graphics, periods of great acting talent, and not to mention, sigh, William Shatner (I have a little crush on circa 1966-1969 Shatner.)

Now don't let my unhealthy crush on a now 80 year old man confuse you, it's not that the show is actually good. If we are going to be completely honest, it is just terrible. But what I do love about the show is its quaint views on the future.

The photo on the left is from a site Jew of the Day seriously, I couldn't make that up. Photo on the right source.
Who am I kidding I still love him, but in that I'm gonna 'bear hug you like you are my Grandpa' sort of way.

After watching all 79 episodes multiple times over the past few years this is what Star Trek has taught me about the future:

All enemies in the future will be some kind a of 'energy field': If you watch as much of The Trek as I do you will notice that most enemies in the future will be an "energy field." It may come in the the form of a hand that grabs your vessel, or a a blob of purple, blue, orange, and red glittery light, even appearing as the terrifying Window's Screensaver.  How do you combat your seemingly undefeatable enemy? The future's answer to everything: Logic.

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A strategically cut unitard will be the go to outfit for females: And with them Women's Rights will be set back a few 1,000 years.

The computer monitor will revert to a series of colored lights and buttons: For some reason computers will evolve to the point that screens are unnecessary and cumbersome.  All communications will come in the form of lights, blinks, and blips. The streamline look of all the computers makes me think that Steve Job's head is in a jar somewhere running Apple Computer in  the year 2266.  (Wiki)

There is going to be a planet made up of entirely of Nazis and one planet of 1920's Chicago: This is an idea of alien life is also supported by the writers of South Park: in the episode Canceled, the children learn that there are entire planets existing of single races, single species, etc.

And of course as a Space Ship Captain, you must dress the part:

These great photos were taken from the "The Many Looks of Kirk" article on IGN Stars website.
It's a very funny read, if you are so inclined.

Astronauts will not need space suits since all planets will have Earth's atmosphere The one aspect of Star Trek that is so prevalent is the idea that all planets have an atmosphere like Earth. Most of the time they just beam down without checking shit out. I guess the Trekkies will argue that it is just understood that, as high ranking officials of Star Fleet, the research has been done to ensure the crew's safety (well as long as you are not in a red shirt.)

Be on the look out for Part 2 soon!

YDB

011: That's What She Said

While helping my peusdo in-laws clean up the new house and prepare it for painting, The Captain's Dad said

"We are gonna have to really stuff it in that hole"

That's what she said!

Apparently spackling walls lends itself to a whole slew of TWSS jokes. I'm going back today to paint, so I will keep you posted.

YDB

Book Reivew Hiaku: A Twisted Ladder

Book Review Haiku: A Twisted Ladder by Rhodi Hawk

 

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N'awlins, voodoo, French

Had the potential to be great

It fell short in end

 

I wanted to love this book, I really did. It had the potential to be a compelling story: mysterious and ancient relative, voodoo magic, the back Bayou, N'awlins. But Hawk just couldn't deliver. The book was poorly written. Whole sections did not make sense, characters were not clearly developed.

With that being said, I did love the feel of this paperback. The paper used for the cover had a smooth, milky, even smokey feeling. In the design biz we call it Touché.  To me the paper encompassed the climate of the Bayou in the summer; hot and humid. It conveyed the heaviness of the burden the main character was trying to overcome and avoid.

Book Reivew Hiaku: Twenties Girl

Book Review Haiku: Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

 

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Pushy, dead Aunt

Wish I could buy that necklace

Awkwardness abound

This was one of the first of Kinsella's non-Becky Bloomwood stories that I actually enjoyed. She paired well-rounded characters with an equally developed story. I highly recommend this book for a summer beach read.

010: That's What She Said

While watching the Jets/Colts game on Saturday:

"There are a lot of guys stuffed in that hole" - The Captain

That's what she said! Ha Ha. It's almost 24 hours later and I am still laughing at that one.

YDB

Furry Friends Foraging (? No, oh well :) For Forever.....Flat

I love the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee. It's probably the only Blog I visit on a daily basis. I am sucker for cute, little, fuzzy faces. Pair those faces with a sad orphan story and I just melt.  I like to say, "I'm a crazy cat stalker lady." I personally do not have cats in my new home but I come from a home that is run by an adopted brother and sister duo:

 

 This handsome ball of fur is Chase. I would reckon he is 10lbs of pure fur.  He is extremely loving/rapey. He has to be on your lap at all times, and he has to lick the first 4 layers of skin off any exposed skin.

His skills include: human food taster, using doorknobs to open doors, and the ability to function on no sleep (I truly believes he doesn't sleep during the day at all. He is in constant motion. As you can see from this picture, he is WIDE awake and waiting for someone, anyone to walk through the front door.)

 

 And this princess is Charlotte. She is the sweetest little thing on 4 legs. She is the complete opposite of her brother (Notice how calm and relax she looks in her canopy bed.) Charlotte is very in-de-pen-dent, preferring to be left alone (and faaaar away from my 20 month old nephew.) She has the soft fur that she had as a baby. Unlike her brother, she is able to sit on you lap and not feel the need to bath you.

Her skills include: hiding in the most bizarre places, tossing toy mice in the air and then catching them, and hunting bed sheet covered feet.

So back to this committee and what do they do? The Kitties are fostered by two big-hearted Pacific North-westerners Laurie and Craig. "The Itty Bitty Kitties are orphaned kittens that come to us from the Tacoma/Pierce County Humane Society. We care for the babes until they are old enough to be adopted, then we find them loving homes."

There are two boys, Clarence and Georgie, looking for a good forever home in the Seattle/Tacoma area. If you live in the area, please contact the IBKC and inquire about them. I am sure they will be an amazing addition to any home!

http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/Sourc

Good luck Clarence and Georgie! If I lived closer, you would totally be coming home with me.

Your Daily Barista

Happy Festivus!

For the story of Festivus
JeffisaGeek.net provides the video clips.
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It's time for the airing of grievances, I gotta lotta problems with you people!

1) PA UE - Get your shit together and send me my paperwork. Two months of this non-sense is BULLCRAP!

2) In the same vain, Brian Williams - Stop reporting on the shitty job market. Those of us looking for jobs know that the market is the pits. You telling us that just makes us even more depressed and anxious.

3) The Captain - Can you please put your dirty dish(es) in the side of the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes? Your dish is not special and is not entitled to special treatment.

4) Weather at the Beach - Stop being windy. It literally blows.

5) NBC 40 Sound Guy - What is that annoying 'thumping' noise on Monica Ott's mic? Is it her heart beat? Is there a small mammal living in her poorly fitted suit jacket?  Is it a bad mic? I don't know. What I do know is that it is irritating and should be fixed.

6) TruPanel - I have signed up for at least 7 studies and have yet to be chosen! WTF. Why to I keep getting denied? I would be the best test audience. I have an ungodly amount of free time and I love being opinionated. PICK ME!  Also, you should get points for all surveys you complete. Surveys are few and far between anyway so what's the big deal. Might give away too many $5 Starbucks Gift Cards?

7) 'Now Hiring' Signs - Stores, don't put them in your window if you are not actually hiring.

8) Jay Leno - I am forced to watch you every night because I only get Channel 10. Your jokes are unfunny, your guests look uncomfortable, and the group meeting you as you walk out looks forced and pretentious. You suck!

9) Mega Roll Toilet Paper - You do not fit in my TP dispenser, nor do I think you fit in anyone's TP dispenser, making your argument about using less TP invalid. To get the TP to fit, I end up using 1/2 the roll.

And finally,

10) People who drive with their placards hanging from the mirror - It clearly says "Remove While Driving" yet everyone ignores it. I tried driving with Popi's hanging in my window and it is extremely distracting. I could barely see out of half my windshield. Imagine if I had the vision of an 80 year old with cataracts and a bum leg.

So as Festivus draws to a close, it is now my turn to fight my father in a Feat of Strength. I think I can take him!

YDB

3 Faves of the Week

With the holidays right around the corner, I am dedicating my latest 3 Faves of the Week to infomercials.

The Forever Lazy

Two weeks ago, the Captain and I were cruising Newser when we came across a link to this:

"I. WANT. THAT."  the Captain exclaimed like a petulant child.

"That is the dumbest, most unsexy thing I have ever seen. I am not buying you that. In fact, I don't ever want to see you in that," I said flatly

"It's not any dumber than the Snuggie. Which I might add you own!" he pointed out.

That exchange started up the 2010 Which Is Dumber? Debate, which I might add is still going on in my household. I won't go in to the details of the debate, just know that I freely admit that the Snuggie is a dumb product. I also want you to know that my house is a chilly 67 degrees but thanks to my Pepto Bismol Pink Snuggie (an `09 Christmas present from Mom ) my entire body, including my arms, are warm.

The Pajama Jean

A friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall today and I have watched it at least 3 times. It has also spurred the longest conversation ever dedicated to a single FB comment on my page. Every time I watch it, I am left saying "Hmm, I wonder if they are nice looking?" The Pajama Jean (and let us not forget that snazzy and FREE crew neck t-shirt) would be a nice upgrade to my usual yoga pants/college hoodie uniform that have adopted since being unemployed.

This product is utterly ridiculous ...  Right?

This is how they should pitch it during the holiday gift buying rush:

"Now, you can eat all you want and your jeans grow WITH you! No more embarrassingly unbuttoning that top button during fancy, formal dinners. With Pajama Jeans, this Christmas you can have that second helping of Grandmom's apple pie. (narrator chuckles as if in causal conversation) And don't forget the ice cream!"

(I miss working in an Ad Agency...I used to get paid for gems like that!)

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you give PJ's that look like clothes to people who LOVE PJ's, these things will end up in many inappropriate places.

It will class up the Wal-Mart crowd though!

The Clapper Plus

And finally the stupidest addition to an already stupid invention: The Clapper Plus. The 'Plus' of The Clapper Plus is a wireless light switch. 

 

When I brought the stupidity of this product to the attention of the Captain, he said "That's the greatest idea! It would be perfect for us cause none of our light switches are in right place."

Let me explain what he means: the light switch for our bedroom is in the kitchen, the switch for my office is blocked when I open the door, and the only switch in our living room turns on the lights attached to the ceiling fans (which when turned on is bright enough to operate)-not an outlet.

Touché my friend, looks like Santa is bringing us a Clapper Plus!

Better order now, these deals won't last forever and Christmas is just around the corner.

YDB

Haven't we met before

I have been a bad, bad friend. I tell you I am going to write to you every week, then I disappear for a few months.

So I suggest we begin again.  But this time at the beginning of my new life.

Well, I was totally laid off in June. I know, I know WTF! It's a strange feeling being laid off. I think I went through all the standard phases:

1. Sweet I Don't Have to Get Up in the Morning
2. I'm Gonna Hang with my Friends. Oh Wait They Have Jobs, Dammit!
3. This Sucks
4. I Need a Job
5. I REALLY Need a job

It was sometime between the "This Sucks" and "I Need a Job" phases that our lease at the 'Creek was up. Due to the numerous issues with the apartment we decided not to resign our lease and move...to the Jersey Shore.

That's right ladies and gents, it's G.T.L. and Fist Pumps all year long. I wish that were the case, but we moved into what can only be equated to a large scale senior community. It's more like Buicks, Placards, and Moth Balls all year long.

We now live in a quaint (not sure if it correctly describes my place, but it sounds classy) 3 bedroom house about a block from the beach.

One of the many beautiful sunsets and it's only a block away! I can seriously hear the ocean on quiet nights.
This summer is going to be amazing.

So here is the nickel tour of our new abode (the interior shots were taken on our first night in the house):

The adorable front porch all decked out for Halloween.
Decorations to take note of: illuminated tin pails, a hay bale and mum, glittery scary words in the windows,
and the cutest homemade ghosts. And our jack-o-lantern...

Lorlita was over and suggested we carve a PBR-o-lantern. Way to class up the neighborhood! Yes, we did keep it out during trick-or-treating. The parents all got a laugh.

The new place isn't very large. Our living room is more long and narrow, so we had to give up part of our sectional and both end tables (that mean kiss away lighting.) Conversely our bedroom is large so we were able to add in the two missing pieces of our bedroom set that we couldn't use in our apartment. 

Win-Win.

 

1) Our ski lodge bathroom.

2) The master bedroom with an extremely romantic 3)washer and dryer.

4) I always wanted a breakfast nook!

5) The kitchen is the largest room in the house. Literally.

6) The living room with beautiful natural wood ceiling (not so attractive fans)

7) My home office. It's the best room in the house and with the best view.

8)The guest bedroom. It's the warmest room in the house.

So that is the new crib in a nutshell. Once I straighten up (things have gotten out of hand with the holidays) I will post some pics of the furnished rooms.

Sorry again for the long delay. I hope never to make it lapse that much again.

Your Daily Barista

Book Reivew Hiaku: Sleeping Arrangements

Book Review Haiku: Sleeping Arrangements by Madeleine Wickham

Helping a sista out!

One of my favorite peeps and fellow blogger LizzieBeth over at Lizzie in Progress just got hitched! Hooray. Let me tell you, this is one crafty craftsman and came up with nifty ideas for her ceremony. And the best part, she is now selling them to brides-to-be like YOU!

You can check out her wares at this site.  So, what is it that she is selling:

Picture Frames (a ton of them, too)

A really sweet homemade (kudos Lizzie! it came out amazing) parasol that she used in her photos:

Some unused unmentionables:

And there are some other really killer (and I would assume useful) things on her for sale page. So if you are getting married andwant that DIY look with no effort on your part, help a sista out!

Happy purchasing and best wishes on your future nuptials!!

Your Daily Barista

Book Review Hiaku: The Lost Symbol

Book Review Haiku: The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

Same shit different book

'these symbols mean something'

So over Dan Brown 

I would totally pass on The Lost Symbol, but hey, different strokes for different folks right?  If I was going to recommend a Dan Brown book, I would go for Angels & Demons. It's a far more entertaining plot. Art, dead pope, science. And the science aspect really aids in the plot of the book. In the Lost Symbol it kinda is just there. It doesn't add to the story and it is very distracting.

 

3 Faves of the Week

TV University

 

Stumbling the other day I found the greatest blog post: TV University Faculty by 4 Dudes. That got me thinking, "What would I major in at TV University? A study of all things awesome of course!"

In case you were wondering:

ParaPsycology with Mulder and Scully
Automotive Engineering with Jeremy Clarkson
Astronautical Engineering with Scotty
Marketing with Don Draper
Public Speaking with Billy Mays
Practical Business Management with "Great" Scott
Graphic Arts with Sal Romano
African American History with Franklin (I guess G.O.B. is the Teacher's Assistant)
Women Studies with Hank Moody

Do You Remember the Time?

I happened to be on Facebook a while back and a friend of mine posted a link to a Blog called "I'm Remembering!."

I took one look at this site and fell in love. One the first page there is a screen shot of my favorite 80s movie ever, Just One of the Guys!!  I am crazy for 80s/90s nostalgia and this site has it all.  Scrolling through all the pages makes me long to go through our family photo albums and relive some amazing childhood memories.

Drunk History

Funny or Die has an great episodic series called Drunk History. Concept is simple, tell a factual story while drunk. I know deep down we all have been in this situation. The drunker you get the more you feel a need to impress upon others your wealth of knowledge. The only difference, you don't have celebrities doing the reenactments.  Here is one of my favorites, but you can check out the rest on their site.

Drunk History Vol. 5 w/ Will Ferrell, Don Cheadle & Zooey Deschanel from Will Ferrell

and on a side note: 

My new favorite drink, a hard Arnold Palmer (that's what she said!)

 Hey there sailor!

They are hard to find but funnily enough, the best one I ever head was at Mexican restaurant in South Jersey. According to the all knowing Wikipedia, a hard Arnold Palmer is known as a John Daly. It's easy: lemonade, ice tea, and vodka. I did see on one site that it is best with Limon vodka.

YDB's Amish Adventure

This past Sunday The Captain and I decided to take an adventure. Here is our tale, as told through Facebook and Twitter updates... 

"look out Amish! [YDB] is coming and she's bringing zippers with her!." 11:18 AM Jul 11th via txt

"In this day of home computers and space travel, the Amish eschew zippers as decadent, electricity as unnecessary and flush toilets as wasteful. They forgo the automobile in favor of sleek trotters and canvas-topped carriages of hickory wood."  Read more

"first adventure stop: marsh creek state park." 12:13 PM Jul 11th via txt 

"so far 1 of little chris' presents. haha. i wish they still had the rusty playland of my youth." - facbook via text

I totally ganked him a few of the these awesome McDonald's Bibs from the Mickey D's in Blue Ball, PA. I am sure I could have got them at a Mac Donald's around here but they are never out to just take. I always feel funny asking since I never have a kid with me.  Along with the bibs he's getting some crappy toy from my Happy Meal. McDonald's really needs to step it up in the free toy department.

As for the dangerous Playland of my youth:

Breathe it in. The Big Mac Jail that I used to be afraid I wouldn't be able to climb down from. The Grimace shake thingie that never quite shook that well. If you remember these rusty marvels check out an amazing article from RetroJunk!

"just took a pic of an Amish guys cow. do u think i stole its soul? i figured it was cool cause the dude waved." 12:47 PM Jul 11th via txt

"Oh Amos, this bitch just stole my muthafuckin soul."

Old Order Amish and Mennonites forbid photography of their people, and their objection is based on the second commandment..." Read more interesting facts about the Amish.

 
"The Captain has apparently found the ghetto of Lancaster. who knew?" 2:10 PM Jul 11th via txt

"leaving strasburg, now on our way to bird in hand by way of intercourse." 3:26 PM Jul 11th via txt 

Yes, PA outsiders...these towns really do exist

 

 

Note that they changed the town's name to Intercourse. WTF Amish. I wonder if they get the joke. I bet that there isn't much intercourse happening in Intercourse. Thoughts?

 Not as funny as Intercourse but Bird-in-Hand is yet another example of the dirty minds of the Amish. Shame on you Malachi shame on you.

 Blue Ball is lame and does not have a logo (I am smelling potential client!!) Get on the ball Blue Ball!

"Amish puppies!! i would name them Jedediah and Malachi" 3:47 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"looking for the intercourse brewing company. no add on site. going by label. a silo b/w 2 bushes. use ur imagination." 3:48 PM Jul 11th via txt  

I know what you are thinking Beer... and the Amish. Yeah I know who would have put the two together. They are not exactly peas and carrots.  But, yes my friends, Intercourse Paradise Pale Ale is my new favorite beer. The Captain and I attacked their booth at the Beer Festival we went to a few years back and have been on the hunt for it ever since. It's not readily available in our area but I am thinking a Blue Anchor Adventure for beer next time.

Unfortunately we couldn't find the brewery in our Amish travels. My mom had an interesting point "Perhaps it is brewed by renegade Amish guys out of the family farm. They don't want to be found out so they don't advertise in the area?" I think you maybe on to something there lady...good thinking.


Whatever the case maybe, the bottom line is I totally want to have Intercourse in my home. And I want all my friends to have Intercourse in my home as well. So please Intercourse, please distribute in Philadelphia! My dry spell has lasted far too long.

Give Intercourse some love by following them on Twitter.
Do it for the logo alone! Look carefully.

"remember EAGLE 106.1? i think it still lives on in Lancaster. "mr. vain," anyone?" 3:57 PM Jul 11th via txt  

Source

Yeah you know you remember its Top 40 greatness.  Then it turned to all Jazz and people stopped listening. Relive it with me:

  
"i love dutch wonderland! i totally want to go now! but if i don't have a kid, i will look like pedophile." 4:00 PM Jul 11th via txt

"again. lost in the ghettos of Lancaster." 4:15 PM Jul 11th via txt 

"decided to blow off bird in hand. heading to Maryland coast...its a full on adventure" 4:36 PM Jul 11th via txt

"wtf pa! where the hell are we?" 5:53 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"weather is beautiful again. roof is back down. heading towards home finally." 5:54 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"lessons learned: adventuring is far more fun on Saturday, shits open. 2) should've went to dutch wonderland." 5:56 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"now on to a place for BBQ - Carly wants some ribs." 5:57 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"strike that! we did make it to Maryland! crabs instead tonight!" 5:59 PM Jul 11th via txt  

"looking at the strasburg railroad i realized i could've bought lil biff a conductors hat. unkie fantastic didn't want to stop" 6:09 PM Jul 11th via txt

"bugaboo creek - the Canadian TGIF Fridays? i think yes, yes." about 24 hours ago via txt   

Source

"Would you like to hear aboot our specials."

"So you liked your steak, eh?"

Nah, they didn't say that. But it would have been so great if they had.

"it never fails. i get more burned while driving with the roof down, then I do on the beach." - - facbook via text

Happy and Safe travels this summer,
YDB