I am 'Boldly Going' there…Part 1

It used to be a secret, but I cannot hide it anymore. I am ready to admit that I, dear readers, am a Trekkie. I am a TREKKIE!

 

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I am in love with Star Trek the Original Series and all of it campiness. My love started out innocently enough: I was VERY drunk one night and the Captain and I caught an episode on late night TV (oh hell it was early morning, 2am.) I was amazed with what I saw: fabulous cardboard sets, high tech graphics, periods of great acting talent, and not to mention, sigh, William Shatner (I have a little crush on circa 1966-1969 Shatner.)

Now don't let my unhealthy crush on a now 80 year old man confuse you, it's not that the show is actually good. If we are going to be completely honest, it is just terrible. But what I do love about the show is its quaint views on the future.

The photo on the left is from a site Jew of the Day seriously, I couldn't make that up. Photo on the right source.
Who am I kidding I still love him, but in that I'm gonna 'bear hug you like you are my Grandpa' sort of way.

After watching all 79 episodes multiple times over the past few years this is what Star Trek has taught me about the future:

All enemies in the future will be some kind a of 'energy field': If you watch as much of The Trek as I do you will notice that most enemies in the future will be an "energy field." It may come in the the form of a hand that grabs your vessel, or a a blob of purple, blue, orange, and red glittery light, even appearing as the terrifying Window's Screensaver.  How do you combat your seemingly undefeatable enemy? The future's answer to everything: Logic.

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A strategically cut unitard will be the go to outfit for females: And with them Women's Rights will be set back a few 1,000 years.

The computer monitor will revert to a series of colored lights and buttons: For some reason computers will evolve to the point that screens are unnecessary and cumbersome.  All communications will come in the form of lights, blinks, and blips. The streamline look of all the computers makes me think that Steve Job's head is in a jar somewhere running Apple Computer in  the year 2266.  (Wiki)

There is going to be a planet made up of entirely of Nazis and one planet of 1920's Chicago: This is an idea of alien life is also supported by the writers of South Park: in the episode Canceled, the children learn that there are entire planets existing of single races, single species, etc.

And of course as a Space Ship Captain, you must dress the part:

These great photos were taken from the "The Many Looks of Kirk" article on IGN Stars website.
It's a very funny read, if you are so inclined.

Astronauts will not need space suits since all planets will have Earth's atmosphere The one aspect of Star Trek that is so prevalent is the idea that all planets have an atmosphere like Earth. Most of the time they just beam down without checking shit out. I guess the Trekkies will argue that it is just understood that, as high ranking officials of Star Fleet, the research has been done to ensure the crew's safety (well as long as you are not in a red shirt.)

Be on the look out for Part 2 soon!

YDB

011: That's What She Said

While helping my peusdo in-laws clean up the new house and prepare it for painting, The Captain's Dad said

"We are gonna have to really stuff it in that hole"

That's what she said!

Apparently spackling walls lends itself to a whole slew of TWSS jokes. I'm going back today to paint, so I will keep you posted.

YDB

Book Reivew Hiaku: A Twisted Ladder

Book Review Haiku: A Twisted Ladder by Rhodi Hawk

 

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N'awlins, voodoo, French

Had the potential to be great

It fell short in end

 

I wanted to love this book, I really did. It had the potential to be a compelling story: mysterious and ancient relative, voodoo magic, the back Bayou, N'awlins. But Hawk just couldn't deliver. The book was poorly written. Whole sections did not make sense, characters were not clearly developed.

With that being said, I did love the feel of this paperback. The paper used for the cover had a smooth, milky, even smokey feeling. In the design biz we call it Touché.  To me the paper encompassed the climate of the Bayou in the summer; hot and humid. It conveyed the heaviness of the burden the main character was trying to overcome and avoid.

Book Reivew Hiaku: Twenties Girl

Book Review Haiku: Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

 

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Pushy, dead Aunt

Wish I could buy that necklace

Awkwardness abound

This was one of the first of Kinsella's non-Becky Bloomwood stories that I actually enjoyed. She paired well-rounded characters with an equally developed story. I highly recommend this book for a summer beach read.

010: That's What She Said

While watching the Jets/Colts game on Saturday:

"There are a lot of guys stuffed in that hole" - The Captain

That's what she said! Ha Ha. It's almost 24 hours later and I am still laughing at that one.

YDB

Furry Friends Foraging (? No, oh well :) For Forever.....Flat

I love the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee. It's probably the only Blog I visit on a daily basis. I am sucker for cute, little, fuzzy faces. Pair those faces with a sad orphan story and I just melt.  I like to say, "I'm a crazy cat stalker lady." I personally do not have cats in my new home but I come from a home that is run by an adopted brother and sister duo:

 

 This handsome ball of fur is Chase. I would reckon he is 10lbs of pure fur.  He is extremely loving/rapey. He has to be on your lap at all times, and he has to lick the first 4 layers of skin off any exposed skin.

His skills include: human food taster, using doorknobs to open doors, and the ability to function on no sleep (I truly believes he doesn't sleep during the day at all. He is in constant motion. As you can see from this picture, he is WIDE awake and waiting for someone, anyone to walk through the front door.)

 

 And this princess is Charlotte. She is the sweetest little thing on 4 legs. She is the complete opposite of her brother (Notice how calm and relax she looks in her canopy bed.) Charlotte is very in-de-pen-dent, preferring to be left alone (and faaaar away from my 20 month old nephew.) She has the soft fur that she had as a baby. Unlike her brother, she is able to sit on you lap and not feel the need to bath you.

Her skills include: hiding in the most bizarre places, tossing toy mice in the air and then catching them, and hunting bed sheet covered feet.

So back to this committee and what do they do? The Kitties are fostered by two big-hearted Pacific North-westerners Laurie and Craig. "The Itty Bitty Kitties are orphaned kittens that come to us from the Tacoma/Pierce County Humane Society. We care for the babes until they are old enough to be adopted, then we find them loving homes."

There are two boys, Clarence and Georgie, looking for a good forever home in the Seattle/Tacoma area. If you live in the area, please contact the IBKC and inquire about them. I am sure they will be an amazing addition to any home!

http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/Sourc

Good luck Clarence and Georgie! If I lived closer, you would totally be coming home with me.

Your Daily Barista

Happy Festivus!

For the story of Festivus
JeffisaGeek.net provides the video clips.
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It's time for the airing of grievances, I gotta lotta problems with you people!

1) PA UE - Get your shit together and send me my paperwork. Two months of this non-sense is BULLCRAP!

2) In the same vain, Brian Williams - Stop reporting on the shitty job market. Those of us looking for jobs know that the market is the pits. You telling us that just makes us even more depressed and anxious.

3) The Captain - Can you please put your dirty dish(es) in the side of the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes? Your dish is not special and is not entitled to special treatment.

4) Weather at the Beach - Stop being windy. It literally blows.

5) NBC 40 Sound Guy - What is that annoying 'thumping' noise on Monica Ott's mic? Is it her heart beat? Is there a small mammal living in her poorly fitted suit jacket?  Is it a bad mic? I don't know. What I do know is that it is irritating and should be fixed.

6) TruPanel - I have signed up for at least 7 studies and have yet to be chosen! WTF. Why to I keep getting denied? I would be the best test audience. I have an ungodly amount of free time and I love being opinionated. PICK ME!  Also, you should get points for all surveys you complete. Surveys are few and far between anyway so what's the big deal. Might give away too many $5 Starbucks Gift Cards?

7) 'Now Hiring' Signs - Stores, don't put them in your window if you are not actually hiring.

8) Jay Leno - I am forced to watch you every night because I only get Channel 10. Your jokes are unfunny, your guests look uncomfortable, and the group meeting you as you walk out looks forced and pretentious. You suck!

9) Mega Roll Toilet Paper - You do not fit in my TP dispenser, nor do I think you fit in anyone's TP dispenser, making your argument about using less TP invalid. To get the TP to fit, I end up using 1/2 the roll.

And finally,

10) People who drive with their placards hanging from the mirror - It clearly says "Remove While Driving" yet everyone ignores it. I tried driving with Popi's hanging in my window and it is extremely distracting. I could barely see out of half my windshield. Imagine if I had the vision of an 80 year old with cataracts and a bum leg.

So as Festivus draws to a close, it is now my turn to fight my father in a Feat of Strength. I think I can take him!

YDB